If Love Isn't Enough
by RedYellow
Summary: Hiring a new receptionist is harder than Michael thought. Takes place after the season 4 finale. Ryan/Kelly and Dwangela!
1. Pam's Gone, Angela's Con

_This is my first Office story, please keep that in mind as you review! :)_

_SUMMARY: Michael hires a new receptionist. This was supposed to be a Dwangela story, but then I got sidetracked. It will be more about them in the later chapters, though._

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_**Chapter One**_

_Pam's Gone, Angela's Con_

Shot of the office. Everyone is at their desks except Pam, who is not there. No one is at her desk.

Interior of Michael's office.

Michael Talking Head: So apparently Pam is leaving the good people here at Dunder Mifflin alone. For three months. She just left, actually. I had… no idea she was leaving! Well, that's not true, I did, I just forgot. I've had a lot on my mind lately, with Jan being pregnant, and girl issues, and all. Not that I'm the girl… _a _girl, who's having issues. I meant, I'm having issues with girls. (Corrects himself.) Women. Sorry, that's unprofessional. …Not that the woman I like is necessarily a person who I have a professional relationship with.

Clip of Michael running up to Holly's desk and messing up her papers. Holly laughs.

Michael Still TH'ing: Anyhoo… I've got to get someone behind Pam's desk and answering calls ASAP. Pronto. Prontoooo….

Michael leans back in his chair and starts to play with his toys. He looks up.

Michael: What? …Oh, right.

Shot of entire office. Michael opens his door and looks around.

Michael: Hmm… single male, single male… uh, Jim!

Jim turns around in his chair.

Michael: Hey, you single yet?

Jim: Michael, for the last time, Pam and I are—

Michael: Okay, okay, Jimmy Boy. I'm sure nobody watching this cares.

Michael, always right, gives the camera a knowing look.

Michael: Uhh, Dwight! You're single, right?

Michael gives the camera a look that says, '_Obviously_.' He doesn't wait for Dwight to answer.

Michael: Step into my office.

Dwight: All _right!!_

Dwight gets up and runs into Michael's office, very excited. Jim gives the camera a look.

Jim TH: I think Dwight might've finally gotten over his heartbreak, which is good. He's acting like himself again. On the other hand… Dwight is acting like himself. Again.

Cue clip of Dwight annoying Jim:

They both sit at their desks, working.

Dwight: Question. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a BlowPop?

Jim: (Mostly ignoring him.) It's Tootsie Pop Dwight.

Dwight: What?

Jim: (Typing on computer.) Tootsie Pop.

Dwight: (Very upset.) Aw, man! I had Mose counting for over two hours last night! And now, his tongue… is bright green! Gah!

In his frustration, Dwight knocks Jim's phone to the ground. Jim gives one of his 'Jim' looks to the camera. Dwight tries to regain his composure.

Dwight: Sorry, Jim.

Dwight picks up the receiver as if he is about to put it back on Jim's desk, then deliberately drops it on the floor again.

Dwight: Hah!

Dwight points at Jim and laughs. Jim shakes his head in annoyance and disgust while picking his phone up from the floor.

Back to the present. Dwight and Michael are in Michael's office. Michael is looking out his window at the office.

Michael: Dwight, we need to choose a girl to be the receptionist until I get around to hiring a new one.

Dwight: Question. How long will that be?

Michael: I don't really know. I put an ad out in the local paper though.

Michael grins and holds up the paper to the page with the ad. Dwight reads the ad.

Dwight: Smart. Good thinking, Michael. This makes it seem like we're _selling_ a receptionist, though.

Michael: Oh, geez… Dwight….

Dwight: I just don't want us to get caught up in a prostitution ring and—

Michael: Okay, Dwight, don't be an idiot. Just… help me decide which girl should answer phones, all right?

The phone at Pam's desk rings. Michael cracks open his door.

Michael: Jim!

Jim sighs, stands up, and goes to answer the ringing phone.

Jim: Dunder Mifflin, this is Jim…

Michael: (Closes door.) So, who do you think it should be?

Dwight: Why does it have to be a girl?

Michael: (Correcting him.) Woman, Dwight. (Looks at camera.)

Dwight: Fine, why does it have to be a woman?

Michael: Because we need a pretty face to represent Dunder Mifflin, Scranton….

Dwight: But what about that time you had Ryan answering the phone?

Michael: What did I just say about "pretty face?" Also, his job wasn't that important. (Nods at camera.)

Michael TH: Am I sad that Ryan is in jail? Yes and no. Yes because he was my good friend and helpful in attracting the lady-types. Not that I need a lot of help in that department, but…

Michael opens up his cell phone and shows it to the camera. He has a picture of Ryan as his background.

Michael TH: I mean, look at that face. Wait, I think I have a better picture on here….

Michael moves his computer mouse. The screen goes off of the screensaver (which also seems to be pictures of Ryan) to show a bigger photo of Ryan as Michael's desktop background.

Michael TH: Just look at him! (Laughs.) Anyway, no because now there's no one to yell at me about neglecting to hire a new employee.

Back to Michael and Dwight discussing who should be the temporary Pam replacement. They are both looking out at the office.

Michael: The obvious choice would be Holly; she's the prettiest in the office….

Dwight: (Almost under his breath.) False.

Michael turns around to face Dwight.

Michael: What?

Dwight: Nothing, Michael.

Michael looks at Dwight a little suspiciously before turning back to the window.

Michael: Anyway… Holly's still getting settled into her job, she just recently figured out how to work her new chair… it would be wrong to ask her to answer calls.

Dwight: (Automatically agreeing.) Right, Michael.

Michael: How about Meredith, or Phyllis?

Dwight: No, neither of them is cut out for the job.

Michael: I agree. They don't look… (Eyes camera.) I mean… (Clears throat.) Moving right along. Who else is there?

Dwight: (Looking ecstatic that Michael agreed with him.) Angela.

Michael: Okay, okay. Pros and cons.

Dwight: Um, okay… she's sweet. Intelligent. Hard worker. Beautiful….

Michael laughs and glances at the camera.

Michael: Okay, Dwight, calm down. She is engaged, you know.

Close up of Dwight. He looks momentarily dumbfounded. After a beat, he finds words.

Dwight: Well, you asked—

Michael: Okay, what about cons?

Dwight: For_ Angela?_

Michael: Yes, (Imitating Dwight.) "For _Angela_." Lay them on me.

Dwight is speechless. He cannot think of any bad qualities Angela has.

Dwight: Well… she doesn't like it if you kill something she loves….

Michael looks at Dwight for a few seconds, horrified.

Michael: …Okay, fine, I'll do cons. She… she's a bit uptight, sometimes cold. She might not be the best person to be people's first impression of the office, don't you think?

Michael doesn't wait for an answer, which is good, because Dwight sure isn't about to give him one. Michael puts on an unfriendly voice in imitation of Angela.

Michael: "Dunder Mifflin, this is _Angela_." (Laughs.) Right?

Dwight: (Insincerely.) Right.

Michael: So, who does that leave?

A few minutes later. Various shots of the office show almost everyone's desk, but not what used to be Pam's desk. The phone at the receptionist's desk rings.

Kelly: Dunder Mifflin, this is Kelly…!

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_Sorry if this ended kind of at an awkward place, but originally this chapter was twice as long until I cut it. So, that means I'll update soon! If anyone wants me to :)_


	2. Lies, LIES!, ORI's

_A new chapter: get ready for some new friendships, drama, and humor (or at least my attempt at it)! I'm not really sure about this story right now, so please review. Also, thanks to the people who already have reviewed. You're way too nice!_

_Sorry about all the random mentions of Ryan but he is my favorite character and I love the Michael/Ryan relationship! I also am thinking of including him in a later chapter, maybe an interview from jail? What do you think?_

_**Chapter Two**_

_Lies, LIES!, O.R.I.'s_

Michael is sitting in his office.

Michael TH: I think Kelly is a great choice for our receptionist. At least for a little while; I'm sure there will be many, many pretty young women coming to fill the position soon. (Uses girly voice.) "Mister Michael Scott, can I be the new receptionist? Oh, I can? I love you, will you marry me? What do you mean, you already have a girlfriend? Who is it?" (Grins.) No, I don't have a girlfriend. But I do like someone. It's… okay, it's Holly. (Laughing.) I think that's pretty obvious. (Tries to change subject.) But anyway, I think Kelly is doing well as a new Pam. Think about how perfect she is: she's ethnic, uh… I mean, that's not why she makes a good receptionist. She's also very cute and friendly, which is mostly what you look for in a receptionist. (Imitating Kelly's perky voice.) "Dunder Mifflin, this is Kelly!" She represents everything I think we stand for in this office. Also, since she works in customer service, she can do her job from Pam's desk.

Shot of Jim at his desk, working. Kelly is sitting behind Pam's desk.

Kelly: Jim?

Jim: Yeah, Kelly?

Kelly: How come you never come over here and talk to me?

Jim: (Looking up from his desk.) What?

Kelly: Well, I'm just saying, you always come over here to talk to Pam when she's here.

Jim: Yeah, well, Kelly, Pam is my girlfriend.

Kelly: You did that even when she was engaged to Roy.

Jim realizes he is caught. He tries to avoid eye contact with the camera.

Kelly: Are we not friends, Jim?

Jim sighs, gets up, and walks over to Kelly.

Jim: So… what do you want to talk about?

Kelly: I don't know, how about celebrity couples?

Jim: See, that's not something that Pam and I usually talk about.

Kelly: All right, what do you usually talk about?

Jim: Well… we play a lot of pranks on Dwight, I guess.

Kelly: Already done.

Kelly holds up a key.

Jim: All right. What is that?

Kelly: It's a key.

Jim: I can tell it's a key. Whose is it?

Kelly: It's Dwight's. Duh.

Jim: (Chuckles.) No way. What does it unlock?

Kelly: His desk drawer.

Jim: (Slightly confused.) You took the key to his desk?

Kelly: Uh huh. After unhooking his computer mouse and locking it in there, of course.

Jim laughs, amazed; he has never seen this side of Kelly before.

Jim: When did you do this?

Kelly: When he was over there, pretending to put files away but actually staring at Angela.

Jim: (Glances at camera.) What… he was looking at Angela?

Kelly: Yeah, either her or Kevin, I couldn't really tell.

They both laugh, then look over at Dwight, who is talking on the phone at his desk. Dwight hangs up and starts to go on the computer, and realizes his mouse is gone. He looks around frantically for it, then glares up at Jim.

Dwight: Halpert!

Jim: Yes, Dwight?

Dwight walks up to Jim angrily.

Dwight: Where did you put it?

Jim: Where did I put what, Dwight?

Dwight: My mouse! My computer mouse, I know you took it! Now where is it?

Jim: I don't know what you're talking about.

Dwight: Wh… you… you took my mouse and hid it somewhere! I demand to know where it is!

Jim: I didn't do anything with it. Did you do anything with it, Kelly?

Kelly shakes her head seriously.

Dwight: (Shouting.) Lies, LIES!

Jim: Hey Angela, did you do anything with Dwight's computer mouse?

Angela looks up from her desk with her usual serious expression.

Angela: (Condescendingly.) Is _that _what all this commotion is about? Some sort of childish argument?

Andy overhears this conversation and stands up from his desk.

Andy: Yeah, you tell them, Honey!

Angela rolls her eyes and goes back to her work. Andy awkwardly sits back down. Dwight looks from Angela to Andy to Angela again. Dismayed, he decides to stop yelling at Jim. He walks back to his desk, but not without giving Jim a mean look. Jim looks at Kelly and laughs.

Jim: That was awesome.

Kelly: Hmm, it actually didn't feel as good as I thought it would.

Jim: Okay, then what do you want to talk about now?

Kelly: Um… oh! Did you hear about Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer? I think that they might be…

Jim gives the camera a look that says, '_Of course_.'

A little later. Michael's office.

Michael TH: As Regional Manager, you might think it's my job to hire a new receptionist. But I'm allowed to pass my responsibilities on to anyone I want. So I am going to go out there and do my job by forcing someone else to do my job.

Michael stands up and walks out his door. He looks around.

Michael: (Calling out.) Attention all Dunder Mifflin women! Please come here right now.

The females of the office get up from their seats and walk over to Michael, all exchanging looks of annoyance except for Holly. Michael surveys the five women.

Michael: Mm, okay. Holly, since you're new here, you don't have to attend this meeting. I'm sparing you!

Michael grins and Holly giggles politely. She walks back to her seat with a slight smile and a glance at the camera.

Michael: And you, Kelly, can go back to Pam's desk. I need you working on not being so… annoying. 'K?

Kelly, looking slightly offended, walks back to the receptionist desk.

Michael: As for the rest of you, into the conference room!

Michael walks into the conference room, followed by Meredith, Phyllis, and Angela, none of whom look very happy. The women sit down in seats around the table, Angela on one side and the others across from her. Michael takes a seat at the head of the table.

Meredith: Why'd you call this meeting, Michael?

Michael: I want one of you to hire a new receptionist.

Angela: Why can't you just do it?

Michael: I would, but it requires a woman's touch. You will be interviewing women, after all.

Meredith: But what if a man applies for the job?

Phyllis nods her head in agreement, but Angela frowns disapprovingly.

Michael: Uh, that's not the kind of receptionist I'd want to hire. I mean, well, you could hire him. But he'd have to be hotter than Ryan.

Michael glances at the camera, shaking his head as if to say, _'It's not possible._'

Phyllis: But, hiring people… this isn't our job.

Michael: Oh really Phyllis? Then whose job is it?

Phyllis: It's your job, Michael.

Michael: Well, it looks like Phyllis here just volunteered herself to be the Official Receptionist Interviewer!

Michael looks at the camera with a very serious expression.

Michael: Or O.R.I.

Phyllis stares meaningfully across the table at Angela.

Phyllis: I have a lot of work to get done today. I sure wish someone else would volunteer to take my place.

Angela: (Unwillingly.) Michael, I volunteer to be the Official Receptionist Interviewer.

Michael: _Or_…?

Angela: (Even more reluctantly.) Or O.R.I.

Michael: Okay then, the job is yours. You may use the conference room for your interviews.

Meredith and Phyllis get up to leave, relieved that they did not have to take on such a stupid task. Angela glares at Phyllis as she leaves. When Phyllis turns around, Angela smiles forcedly.

Phyllis TH: (Very happy.) It feels good to finally have something on Angela.

Angela TH: I don't care what you or Phyllis _thought _you saw after Toby's goodbye party; blackmail is never the answer to any problem. (Frowns at the camera.)

Michael TH: Did you see how motivated Angela was? How excited she was at the idea of becoming the receptionist interviewer? This is why I love this job. It feels great to be able to motivate people, to make them feel passionate about something that is actually freakin' boring.

Angela TH: Do I want to be forced to do this job? No. Will I do it? Yes, but I plan on hiring the first poor soul who actually responds to Michael's prostitute-ad. …Unless it's a man who happens to be less attractive than Ryan.

Michael TH: (Very seriously.) If Angela hired some guy, and he wasn't as hot as Ryan… I think I would fire her.

Angela TH: Another reason I wouldn't hire the person is if she didn't like cats. …Or if she was dressed like a whore.

Angela frowns judgmentally at the camera.

_Hope you liked it._

_P.S. I might not have time to post a new chapter for a week or so, sorry!_


	3. A Dumb Fad and an Alien Ad

_Yay! Another chapter! Whew, I have been busy but I managed to write a little something. Okay, sorry that the chapter title is so dumb, but it's supposed to be symbolic of a relationship which implies something about another relationship so that a symbol from that relationship can carry on over into another relationship later. I realize this makes no sense, and if you don't find the symbols, believe me it's okay, they're stupid anyway. __Enjoy:_

_**Chapter Three**_

_A Dumb Fad and an Alien Ad_

Later that day. Kelly is humming to herself at her new desk. A rather grungy looking young man with long hair walks in and takes a look at the camera. We don't know his name, so let's call him Billy Bob. Billy Bob… um… Smith.

Billy Bob: (To the camera.) Hey, um… is this the place selling the receptionist?

He holds up his copy of the local paper. The camera pans over to Kelly, indicating that he should ask her. However, he misinterprets this and walks up to her.

Billy Bob: (Trying to be smooth.) Hey, baby. You the receptionist?

From behind him, Andy, sitting at his desk, gives Billy Bob a weird look.

Andy TH: I could swear I've seen that guy somewhere before. He just looks so familiar, you know? God… how do I know him?? (Slaps forehead in frustration.) Ow! (Rubs head.) Man, second time today!

Kelly: (To Billy Bob.) Um, yah, I am the receptionist. For now anyway.

Billy Bob: How much?

Kelly: (Confused.) How much what?

Billy Bob: Don't be shy.

He slides the copy of the paper across the desk at her. Kelly reads the ad.

Kelly: Oh, are you here to apply for the position of the new receptionist?

Billy Bob: What…? …Oh, …um… _apply_… okay, sure. …Hey, I could use the cash.

Kelly: Okay, interviews are right over there in the conference room.

Kelly points to the room, Billy Bob nods.

Billy Bob: All right.

He starts to walk towards where she was pointing, then turns around.

Billy Bob: Hey, uh…

Kelly: Kelly.

Billy Bob: Hey Kelly, you don't have a boyfriend or anything, do you?

Kelly: (With a little attitude.) Actually I do. His name is Ry— (Looks at the camera.) …Darryl.

Kelly TH: Darryl. …My boyfriend's name is _Darryl_.

Billy Bob: "Ry-Darryl?"

Kelly: That's not what I said.

Billy Bob: (Laughs.) Could I take him in a fight?

Kelly: (Looks judgmentally at Billy Bob.) I don't think so. He's nice and strong and works down at the warehouse. Here are some pictures of us together.

Kelly pulls a huge stack of pictures out of her purse.

Kelly: Oh, this one is a good one of us. My hair looked so good because I had just used a little hair gel _before_ blow drying it straight, and then using a black clip, not, like, my other ones, which are brown or purple or something. I mean, those were definitely just a dumb fad started by my friend Robin, and she always started the stupidest fads. Like this one time, she was like, "Let's carry around pictures of our boyfriends in our bags!" …Yeah, that was yesterday. I think she only started that fad because she finally got a boyfriend. She hasn't had one for, like, 12 years. Yeah, that's what you get when you wear these huge clips in your hair and green mascara and stuff. So that's why I have so many pictures of me and Darryl here. I'm definitely not a weirdo who carries around tons of pictures every day. And I'm not creepy like Michael is with Ryan and keeping pictures of my boyfriend on my computer. I mean, this isn't even my computer, it's Pam's, but you obviously don't even know who Pam is, so never mind. Anyway, (Points at picture.) look how big and strong Darryl is! I think that was the night we went bowling! Well at least he wanted to go bowling, but I was all, "No way am I putting on some disgusting bowling shoes!" I've already been down that road, with my ex, Ryan, and he wasn't even a good bowler or anything. He used to be a temp here. He was kinda scrawny, like you, and we didn't really have a lot in common. Not as much as me and Darryl do. Anyway, Ryan was a good dancer, so I decided to stay with him for, like, forever. But then I totally dumped him. He was all, "I just got a better job offer, but I want to stay here to be with you." And I was all, "Ryan, no way am I letting you do that!" And he was like, "Really? But if I left, then we'd have to break up." And I was like, "Yeah. I was going to break up with you anyway, you are such a loser." And I was right, because guess where he is now? In jail! I was thinking about going down there to visit him, just to be nice, but what if it's dirty or gross or whatever? I am so not getting any dirt on my new heels. Do you even know how expensive these are? And I got them on sale! Only for 1 off though, I'm totally not cheap or anything.

The guy stares at her in shock as if he cannot believe someone can utter so many words in one breath.

Billy Bob: …Okay, then! You say interviews are over here?

He starts to turn towards the conference room, then stops himself.

Billy Bob: One last question: if I get the position of secretary—

Kelly: (Correcting him sharply.) Receptionist.

Billy Bob: Right, right, receptionist—will you still be working here?

Kelly: Oh, yeah! This isn't even my real job, I do customer service.

Billy Bob: (Disappointed.) So I'd have to see you. Every day.

Kelly: Uh, well, actually, I don't know. My desk is all the way over there. (Points.) I hardly ever get to talk to the people who work in this area. Which sucks, because Jim and I are really close friends. Right, Jim?

Jim flashes Billy Bob a look that says, _'Get out while you can!'_

Kelly: Like, earlier this day, we played a trick on Dwight where I took his mouse.

Dwight: _That was you?!_ I've been using the 'Tab' key all day!

Kelly: God, chill out, Dwight. I put your mouse in the bottom drawer of your desk.

Dwight tries to open his drawer, but it is locked. Dwight shakes the entire desk, trying to get it to open. Kelly giggles. Just at that moment, Michael walks out of his office and notices Billy Bob.

Michael: Well, who do we have here?

Billy Bob: I'm here to uh… apply for a job, I guess.

Michael: Hey, our first interviewee! Hey, look everyone, it's our first interviewee!

Almost everyone in the office turns their heads, surprised that somebody actually showed up. Billy Bob, uncomfortable at the sudden attention, starts to walk toward the conference room.

Michael: (To the camera.) If Angela hires that guy, I'll kill her.

Michael mimes killing Angela.

Oscar TH: I can't believe that someone actually applied for this job. Listen to how Michael's ad goes: _"Want receptionist? Good deal for money. Dunder Mifflin, funny boss Michael Scott."_ …And then there is a giant picture of an alien that I think Michael drew.

Oscar shows the ad to the camera. There is, indeed, a sketch of an alien. To give Michael credit, the alien does seem to be holding up a telephone with its tentacles.

It also is wearing a bikini.


	4. Billy Bob Gets the Job?

_**Chapter Four**_

_Billy Bob Gets the Job?_

Inside the conference room, Angela meets Billy Bob.

Billy Bob: Whoa, I must have died and gone to heaven, because this entire office seems to be filled with angels! …Well, actually, there's you, and one girl out there who was all right until she opened her mouth.

Angela: Can I help you?

Billy Bob: I'm here for the interview… thingy. What's your name?

Angela: Angela.

Billy Bob: (Laughing.) Hey, I was right!

Angela stares at him silently.

Billy Bob: Like, Angel. Angel-a. …Angela.

More silence.

Billy Bob: So. Should I sit?

Angela: Yes.

They sit on opposite sides of the table.

Angela: Okay, first. What is your name?

Billy Bob: It's Billy Bob. Billy Bob Smith.

What a coincidence.

Angela: "Billy Bob." That's not even a real name.

Billy Bob: You can call me William Robert if you want. So, uh… you single, Babe?

Angela: (With forced patience.) As a matter of fact, I'm engaged.

Billy Bob: Really? Could I take the guy in a fight?

Angela: You judge for yourself. He's right over there in sales.

Angela points out the window at Andy. Through the window, we can see everyone in the office. They are all doing work except Andy and Michael, who is sitting on Jim's desk. Andy and Michael are watching the interview intently. Also, Dwight seems to be pretending to do work while really watching Angela out of the corner of his eye. Andy sees that Angela is pointing at him and waves at Billy Bob, who is surprised.

Billy Bob: Really? That's the guy you're engaged to?

Angela: Yes, is there something about that you find that hard to believe?

Billy Bob gives Andy a weird look.

Angela: Is something wrong?

Billy Bob: Uh, no. I'm fine. Well, actually... I could definitely kick your fiancé's ass.

Angela: What?

Billy Bob: Oh yeah. I'd win that fight. It's that guy over there that I'm really afraid of.

Billy Bob points at Dwight. His comment pleases Angela, but she tries to control herself.

Angela: Really. Well.

Billy Bob: Yeah, he totally looks like he could be a serial killer or something.

Angela: You're _wrong._

Billy Bob: I'm telling you, Angela! I just saw him freak out over a mouse or something….

Angela: I hardly think it's his fault that _some_ people in this office like to play childish pranks which involve—

Billy Bob: (Interrupting.) So… Kelly over there says she's dating some guy in the warehouse. Do most of the chicks in this office date dudes who work here?

Angela: No. (Realizes.) Well, actually, yes….

Billy Bob: Really? (Laughs.) Man, you broads need to get out more, you know that? Go to a bar or something.

Angela: Yes, well, I can tell that's where _you_ spend most of _your_ time.

Billy Bob: Hell yeah it is!

Angela glares at Billy Bob.

Angela: (Even more forced patience.) _Second question._ Do you think you are more attractive than this man?

Angela whips a picture of Ryan out from her folder and practically shoves it in Billy Bob's face.

Billy Bob: I'm not sure, do you think I am?

Angela: I think you are disgusting.

Billy Bob takes the picture from Angela's hand and looks at it.

Billy Bob: Do you got the hots for this guy or something?

Angela: (Trying to remain calm.) I already told you, I'm engaged to someone else!

Billy Bob: Yeah, but you really like that creepy guy over there.

Billy Bob gestures toward Dwight, who is still pretending he's working.

Angela: (Flustered.) What makes you say that?

Billy Bob: Come on. You're both 100 insane…

Shot of the office from outside the conference room. The door is closed so the conversation is no longer audible; however, it is obvious that the tensions in the interviewing room are growing high. The three men paying attention lean forward slightly, Dwight trying to remain discreet. Finally, Angela and Billy Bob stand up, both looking pretty angry. Angela escorts Billy Bob to the conference room door and opens it, so we can hear what they are saying once more.

Billy Bob: (Mockingly.) Well, thank you for this interview, _Angela._

Angela silently glares at him. She slams the door in his face.

Andy: (Leaning across his desk to Dwight.) Feisty, isn't she?

Jim gives the camera a look and braces himself for Dwight's reaction. Dwight slides a sideways glance toward the conference room.

Dwight: (With a twinkle in his eye.) She sure is.

Jim gives a surprised look to the camera.

Jim TH: I think Kelly might have been right about Dwight and Angela.

He takes a pause, and then puts on a very serious face.

Jim TH: Oh, and guess who else she was right about.

He holds up an issue of _People Magazine_.

Jim TH: Jennifer Anniston and John Mayer!

Jim smirks at the camera, then pauses. He looks from the magazine to the camera and back again, and realizes he needs an explanation.

Jim TH: I stole this from her desk. (Correcting himself.) Which is actually Pam's desk… I hope Kelly doesn't get too mad.

Jim makes a _'Yikes'_ face at the camera.

Back outside the conference room, Billy Bob is starting to leave, but stops when he gets to Kelly's desk. He has a confused look on his face, trying to decide something. After a moment, he makes up his mind and pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket. The paper is folded into an airplane.

Billy Bob: Yo Andy!

Billy Bob tosses the paper airplane to Andy, who tries to catch it. It hits him in the face. Billy Bob nods at Kelly and leaves. The camera pans back over to Andy, who has picked up the paper airplane from where it fell on the floor. He glances at it for a second before stuffing it in his briefcase and going back to work.

Andy TH: I still can't remember how I know that guy… uh…. Maybe he was some hobo I gave money to or something? (Thinks hard about it.) Doesn't _sound_ like something I would do….

* * *

_Thanks for reading! I know this chapter probably seemed pointless, but it will be explained later on. Or will it? ... Please review. Next chapter is going to just be a bunch of talking heads, basically. So stay tuned. :)_


	5. This “Love” You Speak Of

_**Chapter Five**_

_This "Love" You Speak Of_

Michael TH: Props to Angela for not hiring the weird guy! …Not a bad guy, I'm sure. He's just not… exactly… "Ryan" material.

Angela TH: Of course I did not hire that man. I would not have been able to stand working with him. Not that I can stand any of my current coworkers, except for one.

Angela realizes what she just said, and tries to cover it up.

Angela TH: I meant Andy, of course. …Andy. My fiancé.

Clip of Angela sitting down in the break room. Dwight enters and looks at her for a moment. There is an awkward pause. Then Angela gets up and, without a word, walks past Dwight out of the break room.

Back to: more talking heads. They take place right after each other, and almost overlap to show that each person was asked the same questions.

Angela TH: (As if repeating a question that was just asked.) "What do I think love is?" Well, what do you mean?

Michael TH: Ahhh, what do I think love is? I think it's when the whole world is working against you, and yet you still want to make your relationship work for all the world.

Michael smiles, obviously thinking he is very wise.

Michael TH: The perfect example of love is right in this workplace, me and Holly.

Angela TH: Love is… hard to describe….

She looks at the camera, but is speechless.

Dwight TH: Love is very tricky. My grandfather swore he would never fall in love and get married, but then he met my grandmother. That's the thing about love, you can search the entire world and never find it, and yet sometimes it completely unexpectedly hits you, like a freight train, or a bear. That's why love is actually the Schrutes' only weakness. …Besides freight trains and bears.

Jim TH: Love isn't always like it is in all those romantic comedies or whatever. Sometimes, no matter how perfect two people are for each other, they don't end up together. I guess all you can do is try to make it work, and have faith that true love will come through.

Jim smiles, effectively breaking the serious mood.

Jim TH: Which reminds me, I have to call Pam soon. (Gets out cell phone.)

Dwight TH: My father's siblings were both killed by freight trains. My family cat was mauled by a bear. But he lived. We never actually saw the bear, which was strange….

Kelly TH: (Completely serious for once.) I don't really know what love is. Like, Ryan always used to tell me he loved me when we were alone together. But then when we were at work or anywhere else in front of the cameras or coworkers, he was all, "Oh, let's not do that now." I mean, we would make out when you guys were busy interviewing Toby or whatever, but it wasn't the same. It was like he was ashamed to admit he liked me. At least with Darryl, he doesn't have this childish need to impress Michael or Jim or whoever. And with Darryl, well, it might not exactly be true love, but it's something… right?

Angela TH: (Still is speechless.) Well….

Dwight TH: …And then, at the age of six, my other cousin was hit by a train….

Michael TH: Hey, by the way, has Holly mentioned me at all? You know…?

Holly TH: Michael? Uh, yeah, he's nice. He seems like a good boss and a sweet guy. (Smiles secretively.)

Michael TH: So, is that a "no"…?

Dwight TH: My mother's side of the family never really had that much of a problem with getting hit by trains. It's almost a tradition on my father's side. When you turn six, the family leaves you on a railroad track and if you're strong enough, you survive. When they did this to me, I ran away and lived in the woods for two weeks before they found me.

Andy TH: Man, when I think about love, I always think about this one girl I used to date. Amber Smith. She went to college with me, a little school called Cornell, you might know it. I won her over with my awesome musical talents. But then, uh, yeah, she cheated on me with this guy who was on the football team. Totally broke my heart, I never really got over it. She ended up marrying the jerk a few years ago. Why would she pick that guy over me? He didn't even have a good singing voice. (Sighs.) …Anyway, I'm just glad that I never have to worry about my heart being broken again, now that I'm engaged to this gorgeous woman.

Zoom out to reveal that Angela is sitting right next to Andy. She has a slightly guilty expression on her face.

Andy TH: Yep, it's great having a fiancée because it means you can never cheat on each other. Right, my Flower?

Angela: (To the camera.) Adultery is a sin.

Andy smiles and leaves the room, satisfied. Angela finally gets her moment to talk to the camera.

Angela TH: (Sighs.) I guess that love is finding someone who wants the same things in life as you, who's willing to get married to you before you get too old, and who will listen to what you say and never hurt you. And you can go move to a nice little community, and live, maybe not in happiness, but at least in… safety, and comfort for the rest of your life. …And if that's not what love is, then it's what it should be.

She raises an eyebrow as if challenging the camera.

Dwight TH: Yeah, so to answer your question, freight trains can be dangerous. (Looks at camera knowingly.)


End file.
